I was recently given a stack of Martha Stewart Living magazines by a very thoughtful woman, and have truly enjoyed the diversion. An array of emotions is stirred up within me as I've flipped through the pages of each issue: I'm astonished at the intricate detail and skill required for her do-it-yourself projects, (I'm convinced I would need to hire a professional to produce anything "homemade" from her magazines), utterly impressed by her knowledge of all things Home Ec., excited to think up low-budget alternatives for her perfectly tasteful, gourmet ideas, sometimes skeptical that she is human, but in the end, I am simply tired. Not tired of reading, but just exhausted for her.
What a chore to carry the weight of her fame. She is considered the expert in entertaining and home living. I would totally crumble under that kind of pressure. Martha Stewart must be a very graceful woman to succeed at being a professional hostess and home-maker.
When we host parties or entertain guests, I enjoy it, but I definitely lack grace. I let myself get wrapped up in whether or not the chips and dip are properly displayed in serving bowls rather than original packaging, and forget to relax and enjoy our company. If I didn't have my "better half" husband to balance out some of my up-tightness, I would be so exhausted from worrying about all of the details. I've found myself feeling jealous of women that can happily set out a bag of chips for her guests or easily interchange a salad fork and a dinner fork without it phasing her. These women, though they won't be publishing their own magazines anytime soon, are the women that know how to be a truly graceful hostess.
This totally reminds me of the infamous Martha, from the Bible. She was the one who was busying herself with the housework, while her sister, Mary, was sitting at the feet of Jesus. She complained to our Lord that her sister was leaving all of the work to her, but I wonder if she was more jealous of Mary than she was upset with her. Jealous that Mary had the grace to receive their Guest in the best way, rather than being burdened with an eye for the details...
I think that Martha gets a bad wrap, and that this story from Luke is packed with meaning from all different angles, but tonight I just pray that I will come to understand and practice the true virtue of hospitality. Of course, for now I am not doing much entertaining of guests, but I need to pack away these little lessons to remember when I am back on my feet and back in the game of house-keeping.
Until then, I will continue to flip through my magazines, and be thankful that I am free of pressure (always self-inflicted) to perform as a perfect hostess.
Wednesday, September 29
Thursday, September 23
Congratulations Leo!
Congratulations, Leo! You are officially the longest cooking baby in the Vogrinc family!
Today I am at 32 weeks, 0 days, which is the exact gestational age that I went into labor with John Paul. Since it is now past the hour of 3:22pm (when JP came into the world), we are breathing a little sigh of relief that Leo is still happily gestating within me.
Of course, there's no real scientific/biological reason for this particular day to be any more of a risk for something to go wrong, but I have been on edge all day, trying not to stir anything up. Today was also a mental milestone for me, as I can now start focusing on preparing our home for the new baby, who can safely be born in a month! I am making lists of small household projects and have purchased a few "new baby" items at Target.com. Also, I had a good phone conversation with a friend that was able to counsel me through my sewing pattern anxiety, and I am really excited to get started on this Baptismal gown.
Praise God for today being another uneventful day!
Today I am at 32 weeks, 0 days, which is the exact gestational age that I went into labor with John Paul. Since it is now past the hour of 3:22pm (when JP came into the world), we are breathing a little sigh of relief that Leo is still happily gestating within me.
Of course, there's no real scientific/biological reason for this particular day to be any more of a risk for something to go wrong, but I have been on edge all day, trying not to stir anything up. Today was also a mental milestone for me, as I can now start focusing on preparing our home for the new baby, who can safely be born in a month! I am making lists of small household projects and have purchased a few "new baby" items at Target.com. Also, I had a good phone conversation with a friend that was able to counsel me through my sewing pattern anxiety, and I am really excited to get started on this Baptismal gown.
Praise God for today being another uneventful day!
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| John Paul and Grand Dad playing ball together. (We're so glad that you came to visit, Dad! Thanks for all of your help!) |
Monday, September 20
Simplicity? I think not.
In all of the resources that I have come across for women on bedrest, there is always a list of "suggested activities" to occupy your time. Knitting, cross-stitching, scrap-booking, paint-by-number, crochet... While these may sound like very practical activities, I just wonder who these women are that actually do these things while on bedrest. For one thing, it requires a good amount of upper-torso strength to hold ones head up and arms free while lying on ones side. After about 15 minutes of this, my neck, shoulders and back are aching. The other important requirement to begin a new hobby while on bedrest is a husband willing to shop for you. I love my husband very much, which is why I've yet to torture him with the task of fabric-shopping. Paul is more comfortable in a war-torn foreign country than in a craft store searching for a linen/cotton blend fabric.
The other day, I realized that I've been on bedrest for 7 weeks now, and have nothing to show for my time away. No knitted socks, or embroidered pillowcases. I don't necessarily feel pressure to produce evidence of my leisure, but I have decided that, while it's not as convenient as one may think, it would be nice to have a certain craft to mark this time. One thing that I've wanted to have, even before I was on bedrest, was a simple Baptismal gown for our family. I've never sewn a garment, so I searched online for a simple pattern that I could attempt. "www.Simplicity.com" seemed like the perfect place for a simple pattern (hence the name.) My pattern arrived in the mail today. It's not simple. In fact, I don't even think it's comprehensible.
I'm going to add my new Simplicity pattern to a collection of things in my life that are unexpectedly complicated. Another unexpectedly complicated thing is pregnancy and childbirth. We've all been born, right? In fact, pregnancy and childbirth is so common that one would assume it is simple. Simple to conceive, simple to gestate, simple to birth. Well, no, it's not simple at all. In fact, it is nothing less than a miracle. Sometimes I forget to be in awe of this miracle, and I feel entitled to simplicity. This is dangerous, because once I feel entitled to simplicity, I feel incompetent as a mother, because this "simple" part of motherhood is unexpectedly complicated for me. Actually, I know a lot of good women right now that are tempted to feel the same way due to complications in their pregnancies...
Have you ever heard of the saying, "God never gives you anything you can't handle"? I disagree. God does give you things you can't handle... things that are unexpectedly complicated... so that you will rely on Him.
"So humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:6-7
The other day, I realized that I've been on bedrest for 7 weeks now, and have nothing to show for my time away. No knitted socks, or embroidered pillowcases. I don't necessarily feel pressure to produce evidence of my leisure, but I have decided that, while it's not as convenient as one may think, it would be nice to have a certain craft to mark this time. One thing that I've wanted to have, even before I was on bedrest, was a simple Baptismal gown for our family. I've never sewn a garment, so I searched online for a simple pattern that I could attempt. "www.Simplicity.com" seemed like the perfect place for a simple pattern (hence the name.) My pattern arrived in the mail today. It's not simple. In fact, I don't even think it's comprehensible.
I'm going to add my new Simplicity pattern to a collection of things in my life that are unexpectedly complicated. Another unexpectedly complicated thing is pregnancy and childbirth. We've all been born, right? In fact, pregnancy and childbirth is so common that one would assume it is simple. Simple to conceive, simple to gestate, simple to birth. Well, no, it's not simple at all. In fact, it is nothing less than a miracle. Sometimes I forget to be in awe of this miracle, and I feel entitled to simplicity. This is dangerous, because once I feel entitled to simplicity, I feel incompetent as a mother, because this "simple" part of motherhood is unexpectedly complicated for me. Actually, I know a lot of good women right now that are tempted to feel the same way due to complications in their pregnancies...
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| Ultrasound profile of Baby Leo |
Have you ever heard of the saying, "God never gives you anything you can't handle"? I disagree. God does give you things you can't handle... things that are unexpectedly complicated... so that you will rely on Him.
"So humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you." -1 Peter 5:6-7
Tuesday, September 14
Here comes Fall!
We snuck out to the state park by our house for some fresh air last weekend... Daddy and John Paul had lots of fun exploring while I relaxed on a picnic blanket. It's no secret now that Fall is near!
Thursday, September 9
Doing dishes like Eve
We made it to 30 weeks, today! And no sign of baby coming any time soon! So, I have been on bedrest for 6 weeks, and I have 6 more weeks to go, which puts me halfway there.
I'll be honest and admit that this past week was a tough week. On Monday, I told Paul that I couldn't do this lying around thing anymore. I feel like I am missing out on precious time with my son and I am sick of asking Paul to bring me a napkin, or a pen, or my book or my water bottle. I just long for the days when he could come home from work and relax while I got dinner together. So, I started to rebel while passing by the kitchen...I couldn't help but stop and wash a few dishes... and put the peanut butter and cereal boxes back in the cupboard...and re-organize our junk drawer... I also started to fret about how my hair looked, and spend more time standing in front of the mirror and standing and staring at the clothes in my closet. Yesterday I was sick of John Paul's puzzle pieces lying on the floor so I started to pick up his toys and books as well as anything else out of place in the living room.
O, how selfish of me to do those things. Is cleaning a few dishes really worth jeopardizing my condition and posing risks to my little one? Of course not, but I let the feelings of uselessness and lack of control get the best of me. What is it about women and needing to be in control? Eve, in Genesis, sure gave in to the temptation to control when she disobeyed God. She ate fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, because she needed to know for herself. She couldn't stand to just obey anymore, she wanted to take matters into her own hands, and decide for herself what was good and evil. Maybe she couldn't stand things being out of her control. Most women I know can't stand being out of control (including me, obviously). This is why I am in awe of Mary, the Blessed Mother. She was so good at letting go of control. Her faith was firm and unchanging, even though she was homeless in Bethlehem the night she gave birth. Her entire life, and everything recorded in the Scriptures about her, is a reminder to me of what a real woman should be in the face of great challenges. She simply trusted in God. And that takes more faith, strength and endurance than selfishly trying to grasp control of situations that we were never meant to control in the first place.
So, after my little fit of selfishness over the past few days, I have come to my senses. Paul checked out a new book for me at the library and I have a renewed determination to make it another 6 weeks on the couch. I still have temptation to be like Eve, and I'm sure it will haunt me for the next month and a half, but I am praying that Mary will open her arms to me at this time and show me how to obey and trust like she did.
For those of you that have asked for prayers, I also have a renewed commitment to continue to offer your intentions to Our Merciful Lord.
Immaculate Mary, Pray for us.
I'll be honest and admit that this past week was a tough week. On Monday, I told Paul that I couldn't do this lying around thing anymore. I feel like I am missing out on precious time with my son and I am sick of asking Paul to bring me a napkin, or a pen, or my book or my water bottle. I just long for the days when he could come home from work and relax while I got dinner together. So, I started to rebel while passing by the kitchen...I couldn't help but stop and wash a few dishes... and put the peanut butter and cereal boxes back in the cupboard...and re-organize our junk drawer... I also started to fret about how my hair looked, and spend more time standing in front of the mirror and standing and staring at the clothes in my closet. Yesterday I was sick of John Paul's puzzle pieces lying on the floor so I started to pick up his toys and books as well as anything else out of place in the living room.
O, how selfish of me to do those things. Is cleaning a few dishes really worth jeopardizing my condition and posing risks to my little one? Of course not, but I let the feelings of uselessness and lack of control get the best of me. What is it about women and needing to be in control? Eve, in Genesis, sure gave in to the temptation to control when she disobeyed God. She ate fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, because she needed to know for herself. She couldn't stand to just obey anymore, she wanted to take matters into her own hands, and decide for herself what was good and evil. Maybe she couldn't stand things being out of her control. Most women I know can't stand being out of control (including me, obviously). This is why I am in awe of Mary, the Blessed Mother. She was so good at letting go of control. Her faith was firm and unchanging, even though she was homeless in Bethlehem the night she gave birth. Her entire life, and everything recorded in the Scriptures about her, is a reminder to me of what a real woman should be in the face of great challenges. She simply trusted in God. And that takes more faith, strength and endurance than selfishly trying to grasp control of situations that we were never meant to control in the first place.
So, after my little fit of selfishness over the past few days, I have come to my senses. Paul checked out a new book for me at the library and I have a renewed determination to make it another 6 weeks on the couch. I still have temptation to be like Eve, and I'm sure it will haunt me for the next month and a half, but I am praying that Mary will open her arms to me at this time and show me how to obey and trust like she did.
For those of you that have asked for prayers, I also have a renewed commitment to continue to offer your intentions to Our Merciful Lord.
Immaculate Mary, Pray for us.
Monday, September 6
Leo Update
On Thursday, Leo turned 29 weeks old! He's still little in size, and I am measuring two weeks behind, but our doctor says we're sticking with the due date of Nov. 18th. So, there ya have it... we're officially 29 weeks and counting. There isn't much to report from my latest appointment, just a strong heartbeat from the little one. Reality hit me today that I will be bed-resting right through Fall and have this baby at the start of Winter. My goodness, what am I going to do with a toddler that can't play outside because it's too cold? I'm not ready for winter...
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