He Knows Best

Yesterday's Gospel was Luke 10:1-12, Jesus instructing his disciples on their mission to go out and be laborers for the harvest. One particular instruction just echoed within my heart this morning as I read over the Scripture:

"...Eat and drink what is set before you." (Luke 10:7)

Immediately, I thought of my dear toddler who is currently in a stage where he is exercising his will when it comes to meals. Most of what I set before him, these days, he refuses. Sometimes, I have the creativity to make his food seem more appealing, or the patience to offer an alternative meal. Mostly, I get frustrated with him. I feel this way for two reasons: The first, because I have prepared food for him that is balanced and nutritious, and the second, because I want to teach him to be grateful for what is set before him. These thoughts led me to realize ways that I may be acting like my toddler in response to what God has set before me. Is it possible that God, like most parents, asks us to "eat and drink what is offered to us" because he has prepared what is best for us and he wants to teach us how to be grateful?

Family picture in our backyard

Throughout this pregnancy, I have gotten myself all mixed up in trying to make careful decisions about everything from what hospital to deliver at, what care-provider to use, what childbirth method we should look into, what type of pre-term prevention we should consider, and so on. In fact, I have made many decisions, only to go back and change my mind once or twice more. Even before my official "complications" came about, this was a complicated pregnancy. I have, many times, refused the simplicity of what is set before me only to find that it was, all along, what was best. As the end draws nearer, and I begin to plan for the cervical stitch removal and post-bedrest activities, things continue to seem complicated.
Our conversations regarding these last weeks are saturated with "what-ifs." What if I go into labor post-bedrest, but pre-cerclage removal? What if  we take the stitch out too soon? What if the baby is still breech when I go into labor? Every other minute I seem to have a new plan to handle all of my complicated "what-ifs." But none of my plans seem to work out...

I think that God was speaking to me through the Scripture this morning. His Words, "to eat and drink what is set before me," really are a reminder that He knows best, and He wants to teach me how to be grateful. My daily bread will be set before me, and it is up to me to respond to God. I hope that I can respond with a grateful heart, no matter what happens in the next few weeks.

There is an Italian young woman, Blessed Chiara Badano, who is well on her way to sainthood. I just came across her story a few weeks ago, and realized how real holiness is. She lived from 1971-1990, and died at age 19 after a few years battling cancer. When she was loosing all strength, and enduring much pain, she would often say, "If you want it, Jesus, so do I." I love these words because they are so straightforward. It doesn't sound overly theological, antiquated or ethereal... they are real words, said by a real girl to a very real God.
"If you want it, Jesus, so do I."